| The
idea of war and terrorism is frightening for children of all
ages. Parents and teachers need to help students feel safe when
the world seems to be a more dangerous place then in the past.
Children will be affected differently depending on their personal
circumstances. The National Association of School Psychologists
identifies the most vulnerable populations as those children
who:
- live
in areas where past traumatic events have occurred or are
high targets in the current crisis;
-
have experienced a loss or had first hand exposure to terrorism,
violence or military actions;
-
have family members currently in the military or in active
duty in the reserve forces;
-
have family members who fought in past conflicts like the
Gulf War;
-
have parents involved in emergency response or public safety;
-
are of non-U.S. origin and may feel threatened by intolerance
or racism;
-
suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or
other mental illness.
Parents
and teachers can help youngsters understand current events factually,
as well as how events do or do not impact their lives. The guidance
of caring adults can help students handle their emotional reactions,
therefore making the difference between feeling overwhelmed
by events beyond their control or developing emotional coping
skills.
The NASP makes the following recommendations for parents and
teachers when discussing the terrorist events or the war on
Iraq with children and adolescents.
Remain
calm and reassuring.
Children will take their cues from you, especially young children.
Acknowledge that the threats and the uncertainty are upsetting,
but the likelihood is that you and your students or children
will be fine. Explain the difference between the possibility
of danger and the probability of it affecting them personally.
Acknowledge
and normalize their feelings. Allow
children to discuss their feelings and concerns and encourage
and questions they may have regarding this event. Listen and
empathize. An empathetic listener is very important. Let them
know that others are feeling the same way and that their reactions
are normal and expected.
Take
care of your own needs.
Take time for yourself and try to deal with your own reactions
to the situation as fully as possible. You will be better able
to help your children if you are coping well. Utilize other
adults such as family members, friends and faith leaders as
a support system.
Maintain
a normal routine.
Keeping to a regular schedule can be reassuring and remote physical
health.
Ensure that children get plenty of sleep, regular meals, and
exercise. Encourage them to keep up with their schoolwork and
extracurricular activities but don't push them if they seem
overwhelmed.
Spend
family time.
Doing enjoyable activities with you reinforces your children's
sense of stability and normalcy. Try to do things together,
such as meals, read, play games, take walks or watch non-violent,
non stressful TV. Young children may need more physical contact
such as hugs, holding hands, sitting on your lap etc.
Emphasize
people's resiliency.
Focus on children's competencies in terms of their daily life
and in other difficult times. Help them identify what they have
done in the past that helped them cope when they are frightened
or upset. Remind them that the country has weathered many other
crisis, including terrorism, natural disasters and war and has
emerged stronger and more united each time.
Be
optimistic.
Resiliency studies following September 11 indicate that people
who cope best were comfortable expressing strong emotions, surrounded
by caring family and friends, kept a positive view of the future,
and utilized problem solving skills.
Be
a
good listener and observer. Let children guide you
as to how concerned they are or how much information they need.
If they are not anxious or focussed on current events, don't
dwell on them. However, be available to answer their questions
to the best of your ability. Young children may not be able
to express themselves verbally. Pay attention to changes in
their behavior or social interactions. Most school age children
and adolescents can discuss their concerns although they may
need you to provide an opening to start a conversation.
Remember,
you know your children best, and your love and support are the
most important factors to their sense of security. However,
if you have any concerns about your child's emotional health
during the current turmoil our country is experiencing, please
contact their school counselor.
provided
by Sharon Greene,
from the National Association of School Psychologist |
